Sad is Like Happy for Deep People…

Those who do not have power over the story that dominates their lives, the power to retell it, rethink it, deconstruct it, joke about it, and change it as times change, truly are powerless, because they cannot think new thoughts. -Salman Rushdie, author and intellectual

You know, its the little things that truly drive a point across to me.  See, late last week I caught a cold and as the temperature here dropped into the 30’s then the 20’s, it made it quite a nuisance to be sick.  And that was just it, my little cold was a nuisance.  Then I got to thinking about my Mom when she battled breast cancer (and won, yay!), two other friends of mine who are dealing with other cancers, and yet another who needs to have a surgeon biopsy something.  The reality for them gave me not only perspective on my cold, but a clear feeling of sadness.

Sadness for me is a very comfortable emotion.  So comfortable in fact that I call on its depth and energy when I wish for inspiration to come to me.  I don’t know why its so, it just is for me.  In feeling such intense sadness at what friends and family may be experiencing, or just whenever I wish to feel it, I then know that my depth of experience of joy or happiness will be just that much more intense as well!

I thought I was the only odd bird, but in watching one of my favorite TV shows, Doctor Who (a British show) I realized there are others like me.  This character Sally Sparrow loves going to old homes, abandoned homes to take pictures of them and to then wonder what sort of sad stories those walls then held.  On one such expedition she took a friend with her, a happy-go-lucky young woman who asked her why she likes feeling sad so much.  To which Sally answered, “Sad is like happy for deep people.”  Boy did that make me laugh because I completely understood her!

There’s an incredible gift that comes with unpleasant experiences, that if we were to resist or deny what’s not comfortable (like loss of any sort – money, life, health, home, work) we would be unable to appreciate – that unfulfilled expectations create misery and attachment to those expectations just continues the torture!  Noticing this, and really realizing it I am better able to see that what really leads to happiness in our lives has little to do with our homes, our careers, or the people who surround us.  All of those are only an external reflection of the internal mindset we cultivate on a daily basis.  Wow!

In a way, this is the secret to happiness, that death and loss are natural; they’re the other side on the circle of life.  What a gift.  A gift that I’ve absolutely accepted and one that I know makes me more valuable to my clients as a therapist, a man of greater depth, and more interesting and accessible to my friends and family.

Thank you for reading and I wish you much happiness and joy in this changing world of ours